MAEN-IACS
So it seems like I’m well behind the bell-curve on this one. While I’ve been sitting in ignorance, a number of undead (including a friend who doesn’t even live in the area) have determined the creature that’s taken up residence in town is a Maenad.
It’s a pity nobody came to me sooner, as I happen to be an expert, a foremost authority, perhaps the greatest single wealth of knowledge ever to exist on the Maenad. And because I’m in a good mood, I’m going to share everything I know:
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Again, in Spanish:
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WHAT THE HELL IS A MAENAD?!
I’m sorry to lose my composure like that, but this thing has gotten way way way under my cold skin lately. To be honest, I wasn’t thrilled when my maker called me here from NYC. But I dealt with it. I figured, hey, it’s pretty there. It’s quiet. It’s a nice small town where I can relax. Now there’s some beast with a name I apparently can’t even pronounce correctly living square in the middle of town. I’ve tried to do online research to learn more, but that’s the beauty of the internet: everyone’s free to contribute. Conjecture, rumor and outright fantasy are welcome, making it fairly difficult to even begin to separate fact from fiction.
In the absence of any other options, I’ve decided to construct an open letter to the Maenad. If anyone associated with it (or is it a he or she?) could manage to pass it along and translate it into whatever manner of communication appropriate to the Maenad, I’d be most appreciative:
Dear Sir/Madam/Powerful Flesh-Consuming Creature:
Welcome to Bon Temps! I’m so glad you’ve taken residence in this town, as things were so so so dull before your arrival.
Frankly, if it were up to me, I’d have you stay for the natural duration of your lifespan, or eternity, if that should be the case. Unfortunately, I’m not in charge, and I have it on high authority from whatever being or God you answer to that you’re needed in North Dakota immediately.
Please make all necessary arrangements and conduct your journey post-haste, releasing all humans under your control in the process.
All the best,
Andrew
P.S. If before you release your humans you could instruct them to clean up the giant mess they made, that would be capitol!
September 11th, 2009 at 11:26 am
I hope she moves to Wyoming, That is were my X husband is moving to.
Andrew, Glad you have “pulled the bull by the horns” and said it like is
He/She might leave the place a mess but Bon Temps has a great Public Works Crew.
Speaking of Public Works..I think the Health Department will have on run on STD testing because of the gories I have read about.
really, I don’t care where in the hell this creature goes as long as he/she gets the hell out of Dodge
September 11th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Christian and vampire alike profane the old gods and shall be drowned by his love! Bromiusdendriteseleutheriosenorches! The old one comes and the raving sister is his herald! Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Dionysus Houma wgah’nagl fhtagn! They do not live, they do not die, they are outside the cycle! Those of the new Acadiana shall become as the raving god; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy. Then the raving sisters shall teach us new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy ourselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom! Rejoice all the new Acadiana comes!
September 12th, 2009 at 12:53 am
gg
September 12th, 2009 at 5:21 am
@Klaymaw. Are you one of the “them” or just giving us a Histroy lesson?
If you are one of Them your days are numbered. I advise you to pack your vodoo crap and leave Bom Temps..or you might not have a chance by Monday sun rise. I am giving you a heads up to leave. Word has it, that Rouge Vampires have been called into Bom Temps to help get rid of your kind. The whole stinking lot of you and they will have no mercy. These Rouges have never seen a bottle of Tru Blood in their undead lives. Get the hint? They are a law unto themselves.
These Bad Boys,will be”killing and revellingin joy.”
rejoice all the new Acadians is leaving.
September 13th, 2009 at 8:37 am
Somewhere along the line I have heard that Maenads taste gross… I sure as hell wouldn’t get involved. I only like dealing with delicious foo-er… pre-…er things and ideas.
September 13th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
I shall stay hidden unless you shall have need for me, the Rouge should need no help, but I can help pick up the pieces. I’ll park the M4 at Merlottes, the trunk is light proof, albeit small. But in a pinch, we could get close.
September 13th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
The queen herself has interviened with the situation, The Sherriffs are notifified, prepair for war. Humans stay clear of bon temps. Vampires gather to your local sherriff to see what his or her plan of action is, and klaymaw is with those who worship this maenad.
September 13th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
The showdown at sunset. My VBF is heading out with the Rouges, as he has been a nest mate with them a long time a go. I will be staying at the nest he lives in now for protection. I do have to say that when he gets back from the attacks of these creatures and coverd with blood and flesh, I will be turned on and good to go with him. A added bonus of a good kill or two. @Merick. I will run by Sam’s place before I go to the nest. M4…
One thing for sure. You will be able to recognise me… I will be wearing a red tank top.
@ Klaymaw. You were given a warning. You and yours can not win this
September 13th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
Sounds like this could be a historical event. With so many groups on the move(by all reports) just to confront one being, it sounds like we’re in for one special event…..as a historian maybe i should head down there to record events as it happens
September 15th, 2009 at 12:24 am
OMGosh my dear sir do not send the Maenad up here to North Dakota it is far to cold and she enjoys the lush green type of environment.
Plus on my end I don’t wanna call in my maker for help he is generally a grumpy fellow who I try to keep our visits short and serious and thats all.
Send her to Borneo :o)
September 21st, 2009 at 5:12 am
I don’t know what a Maenad is, but I know it’s a Greek word! If, however it is indeed a powerful flesh-eating creature, it might be advisable to stay indoors. All consumerist shopping needs can be taken care of by the wonderful http://www.dubli.com, and I’m sure local supermarkets have an online shopping option.
Result: don’t get eaten!
December 14th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
IS THIS REAL, ARE VAMPIRES , REAL BLOODSUCKING VAMPIRES WITH FANGS AND ABILITY TO CHARM YOU INTO ANYTHING ARE THEY REALLY AMONG US, ARE THEY REAL,?
December 29th, 2009 at 3:11 am
Vampires on here, i need to become like you, be changed. please contact me asap shanaya_dragonfly@hotmail.com
January 6th, 2010 at 9:07 pm
Why wont just one of you louisiana vampires or any vampire thats goodlooking anyway(male please) come make me a believer. Not talking about silly humans who think that they are vampire just because they are lost from this world so they cut on their friends, im talking to REAL vampires here.I have been here in louisiana all of my life and never even once came across an inkling of a feeling that anyone even in new orleans was a real undead vampire. So if you are real undead vampire, able to glamor me then what are you waiting for, where are you and why would you hide from one who is willing to work with you, of course if your real? I never said i want to be a vampire so dont mistake me, i said make me a believer.. I am just here in louisiana, lafayette louisiana that is, well near enough to lafayette, where are you, do you ever hang out on jefferson street on fridays or saturdays, if not , why? Thats where you might find me. But of course i doubt any of you REAL vampires will ever find me. Because you say you dont hang out with humans, whatever. That is nonsence. Be brave, i mean i know this site is just based on a series for HBO . but it got the attention of REAL vampires so, go along with it vampires, work toward getting your rights. Be brave and come hang out on jefferson st downtown lafayette la. Clubs all the way down jefferson. I will make you a deal, if you can deal? My deal is this, if you can find me, then if your glamor works on me, i’ll be ok with you biting me, if your glamor does not work then you have to buy my drinks for the rest of that night. Any serious takers, come you know you just cant resist a challenge, especially when blood is involved. Come on down all vamps welcome, invited what else can i say to get you so hot and interested that you WILL come here and deal with me. Just want proof for my own mind that you are indeed what you claim to be. We will have a great time come on over…